Dreams Dreams and Dreams is the best thing to see when one closes the eyes as one travels distances , places and even beyond earth at times and takes me to wonderland where I cannot explain what is happening for sure but its a wonderful ride for sure. There are times when I see wonderful dreams but most of the times I dream which someone else might not dare to dream and all I can say to myself when I wake up in the morning is its just a dream.
Its been a few times that I have been seeing this dream or reality which I am not sure but its crystal clear and the picture so clear and I can see every detail of it and sometimes I am amazed at myself that I can feel and see things which I dont notice even with my eyes open when I am awake and I kinda feel blessed to see dreams this way. I have not dreamt of what I have been seeing for a while now and I miss the feeling what I had got then dreaming it when I closed my eyes now days. My room has a window and its big and nice and can see trees out and the sky . I have seen my father standing out of the window and watch me while I sleep and I use to see him for days in a row with his hand extended towards me and trying to hug me and I use to smile and smile and then cry. Many a times I have listened to phone conversation of me with my dad and everything was so clear that I did mention to my mother that my father had called me last night and she smiled too. Its a gift I would say to connect this way to soemone who is not part of the world and I am blessed in a way as some how in my dreams I am always with my dad . Many a times even while I am driving my car I see him sitting next to me in the front seat. There are times when there were accidents on roads I have crossed or I had to drive in snowy slippery conditons and my father next to me in the passenger seat telling me how am I suppose to do or guide me is a good feeling as I know I am home safe home in a while. It makes me feel that he is there for me always if even in my dreams I am with him.
One can talk on dreams this way and I feel others might be dreaming too but most of the times I sleep sound now with no thoughts in mind and have not dreamt much lately which I miss.
The last dream what I saw was amazing too. After reading what I have to say someone might not think amazing it is but I feel it is as one can know how capable our human mind is and where all it can take you and make u see stuff which one may not even think about it in daily life and hence its amazing to me.
Back home where I grew up I had my best friend's home two homes across my home and I did spend most of my life hanging out with her and her sister and I was there everyday for sure . Her mom a doctor and a gem of person and many a times people knew me as my friend's mom's daughter and not my mother's daughter as that much time I spent over there. I dreamt that I slept over night at her place and in the morning I was returning home and I saw a lot of people standing below my home. I happen to ask someone in the crowd that why are so many people gathered here? Someone said Madhuri is dead!!!. Now I know I am Madhuri and I see my own death and I am walking towards my home and I am still not in panic state or scared or have any feeling in me. How can I have one? Am I not dead? If one is no more living than isnt one not to have any feeling? I say ok Madhuri you are dead now what? Then I remembered I had a few things to do before I leave this world. I ask God for 48 hours and he grants me the time so I get to spend 2 more days on this earth till my funeral. I ask this time to God because I feel that inspite of me being dead and I am given time it means that I can do soemthing more about the time I have after my death. All the people who are waiting outside the home are going to come back later as I have told them to goand come back in 48 hours and I go up the stairs of my home and my care taker from childhood opens the door for me . I did forget to mention that my mom is dead in the dream too and she is also in same time frame as me , which is 48 hours. I talk to my mom and we decide to give away her sarees and belongings to the lady and her daughter who have been there for me since childhood and I give her all my money and some gold what I do have. I had no feeling while seeing all this nor did I have any feeling in writing all the above . All I had was a drop of tear in my eye because I feel we all as humans come in this world and we live here and enjoy the joy of parents and so many relations in life and we forget that we are here for a short time and we all have to leave every relation and every possession we have and go one day. We think that this all is real and never going to end and this is real but its just a passing phase and all we have to do is be an observer in it.
The worst part being that after we die and we are taken to the burial place we are left in the corner there till they get ready to do the last rituals and no live( I meant who is breathing) person even sits besides us while we lie there waiting for our body to go in the furnace, all we have is bones n ashes of us in the end and this is the end of our existance and this is the only fact of life I feel and everything else is passing phase for sure.
I am strong believer of these words which are-- What makes one laugh in life makes one cry for sure and what makes one cry in life again brings the laughter on the face.